The story of the frog and the wig

Once upon a time there was a bald frog. He was so upset that he was bald that he went off in search of a wig to cover his baldness.

The frog left his comfortable home underneath some plants in some random person's backyard and hopped out into the world in search of a suitable wig. The frog hopped for ages, it seemed, and he finally came upon what he was looking for, a wig shop. The frog noticed it was across the street. He looked both ways, twice, and then cautiously began to hop across the street. Upon finally reaching the opposite side of the street, he noticed that the wig shop's door was way too large for him to open. He needed to find help in opening the door. He waited patiently near the opening of the door, hoping that someone would either enter, or exit the wig shop. After a few moments of waiting, the door swung open and a customer left the wig shop, adjusting their new toupee. The frog waited until he was clear or being squashed by the customer's feet and then quickly hopped into the store right as the door shut.

The frog was truly amazed at how many fake hair follicles there were centrally located in one place. He hopped up and down the isles trying to find one that would work for him. The frog finally came upon a stylish green wig, which perfectly matched his skin tone, and he decided that it was going to be his. He hopped up on the shelf where the wig was laying and he slipped underneath it. Unbeknownst to the frog, the wig contained the powers of a former superhero, who decided to transfer her powers into the green wig when she decided to retire. When the frog was snuggly underneath the wig, he felt strong, powerful, and felt like he could fly!

The owner of the store suddenly saw one of his wigs floating in midair, seemingly of its own power. Frightened he took a broom in his hands and tried to swat the wig down. He missed and the frog, sensing he was in danger, began to fly towards the door.

He zoomed with amazing speed and for a brief moment remembered the huge door that lay within his flight pattern. He attempted to slow down, but his inertia was so great that he would not be able to slow down in time before he hit the door. To his amazement, the frog blew right through the door, which was made of plexiglass, and started to fly out into the street. The frog sighed with relief and began to right himself when all of the sudden a 16-wheel diesel truck smashed against him, crushing him lifelessly against the grill breaking innumerable bones, severely compressing internal organs, and causing massive shock trauma to his body. Needless to say, the frog did not survive.

The moral of this story is: Be happy with what you have for if you seek artificial improvement, you will get smashed by a 16-wheel diesel and have it eliminated anyway.